Wednesday, October 24, 2012

A Detachment From the Self

If you don't know yet, I'm taking Foundations Of Acting as one of my subjects this semester.
And I'm enjoying every single class of it.

I mean, seriously
I've been deprived from ARTS for so long that it hurts. And when given the opportunity to dwell myself in arts once again, I never been so alive. (I miss my orchestra)

For added effect, my lecturer can be define by one lingo that many surfer and a man called Barney Stintson used: AWESOME
She is awesome in the sense that she is very cunning
And smart in delivering her insights and messages.
I love the feeling when I discovered her messages.
It was like: EUREKA!
And I've the urge to run around campus naked while exclaiming that phrase in a splitting image of a certain famous Greek scientist.

But that's not the point of this whole post.
The point is

Detachment of Self

Now, I can imagine all of you slanting your head sideways with a baffled expression.
Yes, the detachment of self. It is an important element of theater. Detachment of self happens when you don't feel yourself anymore and completely, I mean completely shifted into the character of choice.

This surreal and ever so real phenomenon intrigued me. The first time ever I felt it was during the premier of my monologue. I played a whiny and desperate sounding guy, complaining about his crush. I had the scene in my head, how should I move and talk to make the character alive.


Something else happen when I actually perform it live. I can't feel myself. Indeed, I was not Nazran. I can't hear my thoughts anymore. EVERYTHING. Shut down.

Yet, I performed the character quite well. I didn't have to worry about anything. It came naturally. The character just took control of my body and make it speak, act and move just like him.

It's a convenient tool for all actors. To simply detach one's self from one's body and just let the character took over. But, it lead to another dilemma.

Who am I?

Yes, identity crisis. Because the character came so naturally, there must be instances where an actor or an actress think about his or her true identity. Is the character one of their hidden self? This may not be a problem if the character is a heroic knight or a strong-willed girl, but if the character is a serial killer? A rapist? A woman who killed her own child? Is that me? An actor or actress would ask to his or herself.

And hence, the greatest challenge for any actor or actress is to find their true and ultimate 'self'. Their center of their personality. By achieving that, they could be the greatest actor or actress of all time. No, that's not right. They could be the most human of all human.

It is because they have found their center.
Their true self.

So the question remains for all of us
Shouldn't we start finding ourselves? 
Well, we should.
But how?
Well, you could try to do a psychoanalysis to yourself
Or lay down on your bed, just letting your mind wanders
Or like me, you could take theater lesson.
Yeah, I think that is the best way.

No matter how high I reach
No matter how low I fall
No matter how big I be
No matter how small I be
No matter how strong I am
No matter how weak I am
I am me
Me is me


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