Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Leap of Faith

It is super early at the time of writing this. I tell you, ah, if you wake up early just for the sake of waking up early you could find yourself discovering or doing something that will make your day less shitty. Trust me.

So it has been over a week since my last update. Can't blame me. Asssignments (Yes, with a triple 's') and projects have been a beach to me. Yeah, I whine because it is a natural defense mechanism for us humans...and also I want attention.


Kay, enough with random introduction and bantering. The topic I feel like writing today can be explained easily by the inverse of a popular saying

"Leap Before You Think"

Wait, whuuttttt?
I jump before I think? Won't it be bad?
I mean imagine I jumped of a cliff
And halfway I think and I say "Eh, maybe this is not a good idea"

But stop ya inner monologue my dear friend for a while and hear me out. Of course, there are things you must need to think before you do it (eg: Jumping of a cliff. Come on, who the heck wants to jump of a cliff???) But have you been in a situation where thinking makes you unable to move?

Yeah sure. To fail to plan is to plan to fail. But one thing that most of us tend to forget (including me) is that we are just mere humans in this pale blue dot suspended in pillar of sunbeam. Humans DO NOT control. Screw those motivational speakers who told you that you have total control over the world. That's total BS. Instead, humans just make sure that their sails and ships are in good condition and let the current of fate lead them. 

Yeah, it is a good trait to plan everything but when planning inhibits action, it is BAD. The past weeks, I have  been observing and lurking from the background and I see a lot of my friends, be it post SPM or post Asasi/Matrik, contemplating about their future, asking way too many questions that they are rooted in place in fear that their plans will fall apart. And because of that, they are trapped; unsure of the future and getting lost in the present. 

But for me, I think my advice would be to JUST DECIDE

Woah woah woah. You are talking about someone's future, Nazran. You can't just 'decide' your future.

Duh, of course you can't decide your future BUT you can decide to decide.

You see, in making decision, sometimes you must go deep inside yourself and ask yourself a simple yet hard question: "What do I want?" Once you asked that question and finding the answer, you don't need plans anymore. Just jump and hold that belief strong in your heart. Insya Allah, YOU WILL GET IT.

I shall cite Abraham Maslow because it helps me to remember my Psychology terminology:

"What a man can be, he MUST be"

If what you want is to be a musician, you can and MUST be a musician. That way, you will have no regrets in life.
Just like my brother. He wanted to be a professional gamer, a very unorthodox job and slighted in our Kiasu Asian community. But that is want he wants therefore, he can and MUST be a professional gamer.

So, screw planning. Screw calculating the probabilty and chances of success. Screw it all. Nothing matters if you have decided on what you WANT and you just hold on to that. I tell you, you WILL get it.

Jump my dear friends!
But hold on to your heart
And may you land in a bed of roses
Although you may be hurt or beaten
But hey, at least you still have your heart

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Little Dose of Happiness


This blog gets little to no love these days. I don't know. I prefer writing in short bursts of metaphorical poetry rather than a full blown article/blog post nowadays. Maybe because of the influx of assignment and projects (Crap..-__-) or maybe it was because I'm plain lazy..
The projects. Must be the projects.

So, what is up?

If you have been reading my blog, (yes, all of you 15 or so people who regularly read my blog. Thank you*bows*) the past blog posts are depressing posts and all. I admit it, I was really depressed the past weeks but recently, I find myself on and going and happier than ever. I woke up everyday nowadays with boundless energy despite the clear sign of eyebags below my eyes and shitloads of sleep deficit. Now why is that?

I remembered something I stumbled upon when I was depressed. I can't remember where. Was it Twitter or Facebook? Or maybe Zenpencils? Tumblr? But I remembered that it was a quote that goes:

"It is not the big things that make you happy. It is the smaller insignificant things that will make you happy"

Frankly, I don't even care about the quote and merely put it away somewhere in my mind so that my hippocampus could dump it and erase it from my memory. But as the days goes by, subconsciously I get happy from small things. I mean, well, I screwed my 'big things that could make me happy' so the happiness threshold was low. I get happy from the streak of green lights during my drive to campus or a lucky parking spot during peak hours. Heck, I get happy from getting a 'thank you' from a cute girl at the food court that I celebrated that occasion with a double portion of lunch!

It is a wonder and as the depressed days goes by, my fear and sadness disappear. No longer I was worried about my impending doom of not getting it any universities. I was....happy. And things gotten better....A LOT BETTER.

During my depressed state of mind, I took quite alot of tests and exams and I screwed them all. In particular my Psychology midterms where I lost a huge chunk of my grade (5%) which greatly jeopradizes my chances to getting an A at the end of the term. But as the days goes by and I recovered, my test scores improved heck, it was better than my previous test although the topic is harder than before. It was like because I'm happy, I get more things that makes me happy

As my happiness gradient increases, I hang out with my friends more and more. And again, my happiness increase.
The Lah's
ADP Scholar Futsal Team

And it all started when I appreciate those little things that made me happiness. And ultimately, I finally got the 'big thing that made me happy'

It was like the world wants to show that you should not be in the pits of depression for long. Appreciate the small things and somehow, the bigger things will come

Monday, April 1, 2013

To Not be In Control

I know right. An update for this blog. For those who are my loyal reader (With that, I gave my heart felt thank you to you *bows*), you might have noticed that I update my new poetry blog far more frequent than this blog. Well, today I shall give you guys a well deserved update. *confetti*

I woke up early today. Yeah, I want to ditch my habit of oversleeping during weekdays and increase productivity. Plus, I have a project paper due this week and the kiasu me said that it MUST be flawless with TONS of sources and SUPER LEGIT arguments. I just can't help to feel kiasu. With still zero news from universities (haiz) which indirectly caused my subpar Psychology midterms results, I feel at I'm getting inferior by the second hence, the sudden surge of kiasu-ness.

So, I woke up early and build up my fort at the Taylor's library. Out of the blue, this article appeared in my Facebook newsfeed. Now, if you are one of those lazy asses who hated reading, scroll down to point 9,

Situations You Have ZERO Control Over

Wow, it is the bold and font size necessary?

Because I want to send a message here. A message telling the people of the world that there are situations that they have ZERO control over...and there is nothing they can do about it. The world is a dynamic place. Everything is ever changing whether you like it or not. Can you control all of these variables? You can't. Even if you are a scientist conducting an experiment, there are only so much variables you can keep constant and control. Only God can trully control everything in this world.

So, I have no control...is it a bad thing? To not have control?

Well, you might have the wrong idea here. You have no control over things you REALLY have no control off. (Wow, that helps. Gee, thanks) For example, you entered an art competition and painted your best painting ever. That is what you can control; what sort of painting you would like to paint, what medium, what strokes, what picture etc. But the judges didn't make you champion, instead made you second runner up. Now, can you control the judge's decision? Can you just say "I did my best therefore I must win?" to the judges? 


Because logically, who are you to control the judge's decision. Maybe your 'best' is the 'third best' in their eyes. And you control that perception? You can't.

Okay, Nazran. I get it. So everything is kay, right?

Well, it is not okay.
Because I believe that the line between things you can control and things you can't control is too blurry for most people to perceive that it became the cause of a great deal of stress where as it should not be.

How many times we see a person stressed out about competition results?
How many times we see a person stressed out about a failed job interview?
How many times we see a person stressed out about a failed college admission (Ouch, burn)
How many times we see a person stressed out about we see people getting worked up for things we can't and will not control? (Ehem, politics, ehem)

Some parts of life are just not for you to control, but for you to experience.

So, don't be a dictator.