Sunday, February 23, 2014

Me and Economics

So as you guys may or may not know, I am an Economics major, which is weird if you know my background. I graduated from a Science magnet school, a school specialized in Science. So much so that it has Science in its name (Sekolah Menengah Sains Selangor or lit translated to Selangor Secondary School of Science) Back in high school, I love Science to the max. Not only that, I was actually good at it. I remembered that I was the only one who was ballsy enough to take on Biology, Chemistry and Physics as my subjects to tutor others.

And for god knows why, I took on Economics. Didn't have much clue on it; I just said yes over another offer to study Chemical Engineering (which was my course of choice in high school).

But did I regret it?

Meh, not really.

Wait. I don't regret it.

Heck, I love it.

You see, although if you go further back into the past, you could see that I have that engineering trait going now inside me. The typical engineer childhood stereotype, 'omg, I luv legossss' fits me. I love lego. I build enormous structures with my lego. I plan cities with my lego. Not only that, I was fond of computers too. I learned how to use (the then) Macromedia Flash including some programming language, Actionscript. I learned how to wield the computer with pride and expertise for a ten year old.

But that changed. I entered high school and although I love science, I found my passion which persist inside of me until now: people.

Observing people is my favorite past time. What makes them tick, what makes them motivated, what makes them sad, happy, angry, flustered. All of those question excites me to no end. And maybe that is why I chose Economics; I believe it serves as a middle ground between Science and people.

And I hope it was that simple.

You see, what you love back then may not be what you love now. Last year, I was head strong into Economics but now, I found myself second-guessing myself. What if this is not my true passion? Is there anything else I haven't discovered yet? True, between between becoming an economist and a motivational speaker, I would prefer the later. However, preferences change. In my ballsy, energetic youth time, maybe that is my preference but what if this circumstances change? Will I still retain my original preference?

In UMich where I am surround with people who are will soul-searching within themselves, and here I am saying "Wow, you guys are lucky." because frankly speaking, I don't have much choice. Unlike most of the students here, I am bonded with a contract: "Economics or GTFO" basically to speak. I signed that contract. I agreed to its terms and conditions. The past Nazran has no problem with that but why am I second guessing myself now?

Maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe I became too complacent over my own passion. Love is a verb. You do love, you don't describe love. Maybe that is it. I need to do and work for my passion, which is why I started to listen economics podcasts, read economics articles, and apply economics theories into random daily life occurrences.

And I fell in love...again

Truly, love is a verb. Be it with your spouse, your friends, your family, your passion, your work. If you don't love it, you will never feel it


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