Sunday, June 2, 2013

Loneliness


I am here, laying down on the floor
Enclosed by these four walls of pure agony
As the sounds of my breathing echoed through the box
Silence that is loud
Loudness that is silent
Here in this room
Here is this world I created
I am alone
-Railzan Kurhna

Now, you may be wondering why the sudden change of writing style and mood. Simply put, Kanzaki is not here which is good because this blog needs a bit more serious tone as what it was originally: a simple philosophical, metaphorical and deep blog. So today we will be talking about loneliness; something that is not alien to most of us.

It sucks to be alone. To be that one person who doesn't have a pair. To be that one person left out from the social circle. To be that one person staying home during a campus-wide party. To be stranded in the middle of nowhere without anyone as accompany. To be lonely SUCKS. Humans being innately social creatures to begin with need company to survive. The absence of company is a state of loneliness and this violates our own human nature. Humans can not be lonely. It is just...wrong.

But loneliness is not just an absence of company, it is also an absence of connection. One can know alot of people and often surrounded of them but still feels lonely. It is because there is no connection from the people he knows; no connection deep enough to fill the loneliness in his/her heart. And just like the absence of company, the absence of connection SUCKS as well.

Why am I complaining about being lonely SUCKS?
Am I...lonely?

My dear readers, maybe I am but isn't that weird? I have a family. I have friends that spans five to six social levels. I have pets to snuggle during rainy days. There is no absence of company or absence of connection in my life, yet I do feel alone at times.

Why?

Humans are indeed innately social creatures but the action of dwelling and surrendering oneself's to society causes one to eventually lose his or her own voice.

Wait, what? Lose his or her own voice?

Yes my dear readers, losing our own voice is possible especially when you are always socializing with others. Their views, the collective views of society will assimilate itself into you until the line that separates the two of them blurred and ultimately what society is, you are. You will be able to think for yourself, ask yourself questions or be yourself because you lost your voice due to the fact you are always listening to the voice of others.

Loneliness solves this problem. By being all by yourself and removing all connection, you stand with your own two feet. The only voice you hear is the voice of your own. By being isolated, you are able to think for yourself, not to satisfy the views of society. By being alone, you are you in your purest form

So, yes. I do feel alone. Because before all of this great friends and acquaintances came into my life, I was alone. I experienced the purest form of me enabling me to think, formulate, reflect, and feel without the pressures of society. Because I was alone at first, I was able to break some that same loneliness. Irony, I know. And at times, I just wish to escape to that same void called loneliness so I can hear myself again and be me in the purest form of me.

Loneliness isn't that bad.
It is just a mere choice.

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