Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Sense of Fulfillment

A very 'deep' picture. Oh, it's so deep, I can't even see myself anymore

Recently, I began to question myself. Where is my fulfillment? In my times in college, I feel detached and isolated from everything even myself. I seek this fulfillment by mingling around with people and joining clubs, but it doesn't came to me. I still feel a bit hollow and empty.

And, one of my high school friends tweeted me, saying:

"Eh Nazran, my lecturer ask me about any passionate person I knew and I instantly thought of you"

My initial response was of course, flattered by that compliment but it hurts for some reason. I'm not that kind of person anymore. I'm hollow and empty, void of passion and drive. Then, she continued

"Oh, I want to take this opportunity to thank you for teaching me Physics/Chemistry during high school. Really, I appreciate it. Thank you, Nazran!"

And bam

That statement stunned me. I was rendered speechless for several minutes. I can't get myself to reply that tweet. I was...I don't know, shocked?

But I feel warm inside. Like someone pouring hot chocolate into the hollow spaces of my heart. And...I feel fulfilled.

After months of searching for a sense of fulfillment in the bustling city campus and failing, that one simple acknowledgement gave me that sense of fulfillment. It baffled me.

Then, I started thinking. What did I do for that sense of fulfillment. I teach people, right? Therefore, it gave me a sense of fulfillment?

Boom. Correct answer.

In life, you have these simple things that give you a sense of fulfillment and make your life complete. For me, it's the appreciation people gave when I taught them. And it really gave me a purpose in life. Reflect back, what is the activity that gives you the sense of fulfillment?


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